Of Friends and Horses

Talking about the Citroen CX a few posts back joggled my memory (it needs that now I'm in my dotage) what was I saying? Oh yes,memories about a Citroen Ami I had the pleasure (?) of owning.The Ami was Citroen's attempt at producing a prettier car than the 2CV (deux cheveaux).Didn't really work,as far as I could see,although there's no denying the robust mechanicals and 'interesting' suspension inherited from the 2CV made it every bit as functional.

A stranger to the vehicle would look at the strange, chromed walking- stick protruding from the stark dashboard and wonder what you did with that.Well,'that' was the gear lever and initially I found its machinations a trial, until I understood the Gallic logic behind it and then it was as easy as falling over after 18 pints.Twist the lever to the left and push forward and there was first.Keeping over to the left pull the lever backwards and there's second.In the neutral position,twist the lever to the right and push forward,you've now got third;pulling back got you fourth.I hate to admit it but I can't remember where reverse was.Perhaps someone can let me know.Although all that sounds convoluted,it was really a very quick and slick gearchange,which worked nicely with the engine,all 602cc of it.Okay,maybe not the most impressive of specs but the whole idea worked well despite first impressions.Marry that up with plush seating and tenacious road holding and the little Ami/2CV was more of a vehicle than meets the eye.And we haven't even touched on fuel economy.You'd think with only two cylinders and 602cc that you'd have to rev the thing to get anywhere;and so you would,but being air-cooled meant this engine could be revved all day.Ah,you say,doesn't that impact on economy? Well,I was quite happy with 45mpg,some might moan.Not me.

If I was going to carp,it would be about the amount of body roll,(to observers,alarming)but nevertheless the Ami stuck like glue to the road.The second moan would be about its tendancy to misfire,something I never really sorted,but when it ran right it was a great little engine. Take my advice and: Click Here!

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Of Heralds and Blue Boys

I mentioned the Triumph Herald in the previous post and although it was regarded more as a car for the ladies,mainly because of the incredible turning circle,think London taxi,the front wheels virtually turned at right angles to the chassis.And yes, it had a separate chassis,something unheard of in this monocoque era;unless you got a Morgan or such.When I got the Herald I was inundated with dire warnings about the rear suspension.Due to its design,it was possible for either rear wheel to fold up like an aeroplane's undercarriage,depending on which side the cornering forces were at play.If you went left,then the rear right wheel would become all shy and try to hide away.And vice-versa if turning right.As you can imagine this could introduce an element of Russian roulette into your drive,because you never knew if or when a wheel would go into hiding.The answer was simple(it had to be if I'm involved) and that was to keep the power on round a bend.The Herald handled very well under those terms.In other words you drove properly,right gear,right speed for the bend.As the boys in blue say,go into a bend slow,come out fast.Go into a bend fast,don't come out.

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Of Smoke and Spies

Just realised that in my meanderings I'd totally forgotten about my little Austin A40 and the Triumph Herald.The A40 was a handy vehicle because the rear window hinged upwards and the boot (trunk) lid dropped down,giving a very useful aperture to slide wardrobes etc. in through,once the back seat was folded.It was no ball of fire but went well enough for all that;pity about the oil consumption though.Went to the Lake District for a run one day,about 90 odd miles.It barely used fuel,but when I got there the little A40 needed a complete sump of oil.I think it was the only car I had that used more oil than petrol.Mind you,it was a close run race with the old Nissan Micra I had years later.That too was a James Bond motor,with its constant smoke screen billowing out the back.

The A40 had another interesting foible,the dynamo,predecessor to the alternator,a far superior device,which is why they fit 'em to most vehicles now,wasn't giving the battery enough current so on occasion you found yourself with a flat battery.In this day and age that usually meant a call-out to any number of break-down services;back in my day you inserted the starting handle and spun the engine til it fired,though it helped to have the ignition on first! In some ways I lament the passing of the good old starting handle,although that needed the right approach or you could bust a thumb;in extreme cases I've heard tell of broken wrists.

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Of Diesel and Petrol

I know it isn't a laughing matter and I'm certainly not laughing about this but I know a lot of people get it wrong sometimes and put diesel in a petrol car;I know I've nearly slipped up a couple of times over the years.And I know my brother,he of the X1/9,did precisely that years ago at an all-night garage.Guess who got the call to come sort it out?I love him really,honestly I do.Anyway,back in those days you could get away with quite a lot and the only way we could empty the tank was for me to cut the metal fuel line and let the diesel drain out,which was about as eco-friendly as the Torrey Canyon and I apologise.Having drained out the diesel I fitted a length of rubber tube and a couple of hose clips over the ends of the fuel line and we re-filled with petrol.Fingers crossed,brother started the engine which ran perfectly.And ran perfectly for all the time he had the car,a Sunbeam Rapier saloon,if I remember correctly.

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Of Jeeps and Crash Boxes

Going way back in my driving 'career',which makes it sound like I knew what I was doing,when I was still working in the local garage,before I demolished the workshop wall and got the sack the boss,no,not Bruce Springsteen,told me to drop a jeep in at another depot.I don't know what I was expecting but it sure wasn't an old Willys military style jeep.Still,I was young enough and stupid enough to give it a go.Because this vehicle had a crash-box and I hadn't been trained up on this sort of thing.Nobody of my vintage had and it was the first and thankfully ,last, time I had come across a beast like this.Progress was,shall we say,jerky,entailing masses of revs and then virtually no revs as I tried to change gear without some very distressing noises from the gearbox,which attracted a lot of amused attention from pedestrians as I tried to drive past with a feigned nonchalant expression,like I meant it to be that way.Must have sweated a gallon by the time I dropped the Jeep off.

Of Doctors and Chips

I've always been accused of being a hypochondriac when it comes to cars.You know the sort of thing,the slightest noise heralded impending doom;a squeak was imminent suspension failure,a whine most likely meant the transmission and final drive were due to pack in,or if I was lucky just a wheel-bearing on the way out.Sooo, bearing this in mind you can imagine the old hypochondria kicking in good and strong when we got to Cornwall and they'd just re-surfaced the road in some town or other;you know the kind of thing,layer of tar and sprinkle liberally with stone chippings and let the windscreen replacement boys have a second birthday.Previous to entering said town our CX had performed flawlessly,no nasty noises so I'd had a stress-free drive. Stopping at a junction and then moving off again produced a disturbing grinding noise.After imagining all sorts of dire problems,I reversed the car a couple of feet and tried again.Nothing, not a sound, back to normal.The CX has rear disc brakes with a shield behind each disc and of course a stone chip had got itself wedged between disc and shield,making the grinding noise.Reversing pushed the stone back out.I decided perhaps I'd turn a deaf ear to all but the worst sounds in the future.

Of Frogs and Man-Bags

Was talking to my brother the other day and we got onto the subject of the FiatX1/9 which he had some time ago.This was probably one of the prettiest cars I've seen.I don't mean that in a sneery,wussy way,it genuinely was a well styled,finely carved little two-seater.It looked like you could pick it up,put it under your arm and walk off with it and be proud to be seen with it,either under your arm,like a Gucci man-bag or sitting in it.Even stationary it looked like it was doing 90,which was probably as fast as you'd want to go,sitting that low on the ground.It'd feel more like 180.That reminds me of my mate's Frog-eyed Sprite,that would go under an artic.I know because we very nearly did after a bout of over-enthusiastic braking.Less said...Anyway,the little Fiat came in a fetching lime green,with pop-up lights and tiny alloy wheels.I think some of my model cars had bigger wheels...But there's no getting away from it,the car handled like all cars should,like a dream.And so it should,with a low centre of gravity and the engine sitting just behind your ears,so it seemed,it couldn't help itself but stick to the road like,er,jam to a baby's bib.For a sports car I think it was pretty reliable,the only issue I remember having to sort out was the gear linkage,which was exposed to any slight hump in the road.Catch the linkage on a rock,say, and you lost half the gears.A judicious thump wth a fist on the levers usually sorted it but it was that sensitive to ,um,external influences.